Nicole’s mom is getting remarried today. Nicole is in her mid-twenties so getting a step-parent isn’t as traumatic as it would be if you were a kid. However, it does that make it any easier? As a kid you may not understand divorce, and it may be harder to accept another parent coming in, but that’s the thing. They’re coming in as another kind of parent. For the most part, as a child they would be involved in your life, helping raise you, supporting you, and overall “parenting” you. That leaves a chance for bonding and building a type of relationship.
When you’re an adult though, another parent coming in doesn’t feel like as much of a “replacement” of a biological parent as it might with a child. You’re already grown up. There’s no more raising of you, or really parenting you, so it can be harder to form some type of relationship or bond with your step-parent. You might not ever feel close with them or really think of them as family.
Have your parents ever been involved in divorce – whether it was as a child or adult? Do you think it would be harder to deal with a step-parent as an adult or child?
My father remarried a woman 3 years older than me. They have been married for almost 15 years now, at the time it was a bit difficult. Now, I love her as part of the family and a true friend. I do not refer to her as my step-mom because I was in twenty-something when they married, however I talk to her more often than I do with my father. We are just that close, embrace it and make the best of it all. Our parents also deserve to be happy!!
My mom has been married 3 times. First to my father, then to my sisters father, and lately to the guy I call my step dad. All 9 of us kids have gotten extremely close with our step dad, and now my mother is getting a divorce from him. So I ask you- is it bad if she comes to us again and says she wants to remarry and we say no and that we won’t support it? She always runs when the new wears off…. All of us are between the ages of 24 and 11.
As for your mom, if its real… Enjoy it. Step dads aren’t always bad, no matter what age you are!
I would treat has any other adult that age in your life, with respect. I think its easier as an adult to accept a step parent because you’re more mature to understand the situation. My mother remairied when I was 16. It was difficult at the time in some ways but I feel now if it were to happen I would be better prepared to handle it.
I have the advantage of looking at this both ways since my parents divorced when I was 14 and my dad remarried AND I have been divorced and remarried myself. I personally think that the younger the child is the easier they are to deal with a step parent. Getting a step parent during your teenage years is really hard to cope with. My step daughter is only 4 yrs younger than me and we don’t have a relationship unless her father is around. I treat all 3 of my step kids as if they were my own but I’m not exactly accepted yet. I think for the older ones it will just take some time for them to adjust to me and accept me as another person they can come to for things such as advice, money, etc. As for the younger ones they don’t know anything different. My youngest step child was 5 and my daughter was 3 when I started dating my husband and they seem to have adjusted just fine.